What Is This Chick’s Deal?

Like many blissful innocents yet to be touched by the cruel hands of time, I’d always believed sex to be something beautiful and sacred, only to be shared between two people who loved each other dearly. My childlike mind had conjured up images of sundrenched skin, candlelit rooms, chocolate covered strawberries and devotion-fuelled whispers. I had certainly never foreseen the occurrence of unsightly body hair, drunken fumblings, unreturned phone calls and nauseous regret.

In an ideal world inhabited by people of unwavering morals, pure thoughts and superhuman willpower, my naive views on sex may have remained unscathed. However, my carefree teenage years soon gave way to early, mid, then late twenties. One or two devastating break-ups, many awkward dates, countless pash and dashes, along with more drunken sexual encounters than I care to admit to, led me to possess slightly more liberal views on relations with the opposite sex. It’s difficult to remain eternally optimistic about love when you’ve been left with sizeable stains on your heart – quite characteristic of a twenty-something year old singleton, really.

No longer did I look down upon women branded loose-moralled, promiscuous or slutty. Instead, through my experiences with the opposite sex, I gained empathy. I too had behaved shamefully after a few too many tequila shots. I too had been on date after date with fuckwit after fuckwit. I too had met a partner I believed to be The One, only for him to have run back to his painfully unintelligent and mediocre-looking ex-girlfriend. I too knew that pang deep within my chest when yet another friend got engaged, or pregnant, or purchased a beautifully quaint detached semi including off street parking with their long-term partner. And yet, I was still human. Warm blood still pumped through my veins. Primal desires lingered. Should I remain abstinent merely because I was single?

Now before you go conjuring up images of me hitting the town in a pair of FM boots and a short dress purchased from Supre, conceitedly approaching men at random with a husky, “You come here often, Babe?” you can think again. I am by no means a man-eater, nor have I had a hefty abundance of sexual partners (though there have been a few). I am merely stating that, in my opinion, just because one is single does not necessarily mean one must abstain from sex. Hey, if you’re on a diet, it doesn’t mean you can’t eat a slab of chocolate cake every now and then.

This is a far cry from condoning single women (or men) sleeping with a different partner every night. Or every weekend. But if that’s their choice, then power to them. Far be it for me to judge. God knows my decision making skills leave a lot to be desired after consuming a large quantity of jager bombs.

I’m no longer sixteen years old, and instead find myself hurtling towards thirty. My views on sex are no longer as naive and innocent as they once were. As such, for me, being single no longer equates to being celibate.

Judge if you will. But I’d prefer you didn’t.

4 Responses to “What Is This Chick’s Deal?”

  1. Heather December 17, 2010 at 12:33 am #


  2. Heather December 17, 2010 at 12:33 am #


  3. JD July 14, 2011 at 9:15 am #

    I just recently found your blog through the 20SB site, and I like I’m what I’m reading. As a single, and celibate monk, guy I find the …insanity…of sex to be I don’t even know what the word is, fascinating I suppose. Your blog is funny and well written, and oh so true for people on both sides of the gender pool: we all have those nights we go ‘oh god I did what??”.

    • Dawn Dash July 14, 2011 at 11:07 am #

      Thanks JD! The dreaded ‘c-word’… Celibate. 😉 You know, I sometimes think it’s much easier that way. At least there’s no waking up the next morning with some panda-eyed beast in your bed. And the awkward are they going to ask for my number? Am I going to give them my number? What the hell was their name? But I’m glad to hear this hideous scenario happens to both genders alike.

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